Just can't get enough

Its been over 7 weeks since our precious Reuben arrived, and to put it simply...we just cant get enough of him. The kids fight over him and push each other out of the way to get his attention and win a smile, its crazy! I seem to relish the time I spend with him day and night, nothing is too much trouble. People ask me if he is a good sleeper and I always answer with "Yes....in my arms!" And I usually have a big smile on my face. Only thing is my neck is getting a bit sore from staring at him in my arms all the time. I have found the last 7 weeks have flown by. He is smiling all the time now and is gaining so much weight. I seem to be feeding him constantly and am quite busy with the older two running from kindy drop offs and pick ups to various appointments, and also...dare I say it, squeezing in shopping as well. Shopping with the 3 kids seems to be quite a novelty for the general public, which usually leads to the enevitable hurt. Last weeks grocery shop went smoothly with Reuben in the carrier, the almost 3 year old in the shopping trolley and the charming 5 year old given the job of following instructions and collecting items off the shelf for me and putting it in the shopping trolley. Worked a treat! Only we got comments from a few old busy bodies "Oh you have your hands full dont you?". Then one man said after the usual "You have your hands full" that I didnt leave much gap between kids......I just shot him a fake smile and walked away, whilst I was really tearing up inside. There is a gap....a BIG one! I notice the gap every day between Isla and Reuben. Its one that leaves me with so many questions - if Connor WAS here, would Reuben be here? If Connor was here...then MAYBE my hands would really be full after all. I dont know? Its a real mine field....it still makes me sad and is really doing my head in at times. We are so in love with Reuben, and he has brought us and will continue to bring us so much happiness....but everyday we still miss our little guy Connor and having another baby after one dies certainly doesnt replace or fill that gap by any means, nor did we expect it too.
I have so much more to say but have not had much time over the last few weeks and have to cut tonights post short as we are celebrating our little Miss's 3rd birthday tomorrow. I still cant believe she is 3, such a joy and yet such a rascal all rolled into one! She really does keep me busy.
And lastly, I've added some pics of the last few weeks for an update