The Arrival

Well the much anticipated arrival of Reuben was amazing! I had prepared myself physically and was so completely organised I thought to myself I couldnt be anymore organised if I tried! I was slightly wrong in that really I hadnt prepared myself emotionally for his arrival, even though I had been continuing to have my regular counselling sessions and was talking through my whole pregnancy. Still......it was just not going to prepare me for the aftermath of when the dust settled.

Anyway, to Reuben's arrival. Something I had done to prepare myself and feel some sort of control during this pregnancy was prepare a birth plan. The birth plan even though I was having a c-section, was to include details such as the paediatrician being there in the room for babys arrival and checking baby immediately for any heart problems and any other health issues before handing him over to us. We also had the usual stuff included such as having the screen lowered so we could see the baby being delivered...boy was THAT bit an experience and a half! And then I also wanted baby to be kept in recovery with me, we were not to be separated. I handed this over to my Obstetrician and he had a meeting with hospital nursing staff and gave copies to them as well as the anaesthatist and paediatrician. The only snag we hit was that the nurse manager said the only problem is that hospital policy is to NOT have babies in recovery as there are people other than maternity patients in recovery and that I would not be allowed to have baby in recovery with me if there was a woman in there having a D&C or a miscarriage. At that I saw red and if that were the case then I would sooner rather have my arms severed than stay in recovery without my baby. I had waited too long for this moment and the bonding was crucial for me after what we went through with loosing Connor. So when I arrived at the hospital and was introduced to our lovely midwife Jennifer, she explained that there was no way that was going to happen. It was all arranged and they had even scheduled my c-section last so the other mums could be put through recovery, so they didnt question why I had a baby in there and they didnt. Its a silly policy if you ask me, but I'm happy to say at the end of that I got my wish.

The surgery went well. I was taken down to theatre and I can not believe that the anaesthatist put the epidural in without so much as a flinch from me. It was almost pain free. He was so kind and caring, talking us through the procedure every step of the way. Even whilst I had a panic attack on the table because I could feel my blood pressure dropping and my heart rate lowering down to a lovely 30 BPM, he was still reassuring me and patting my face down with a cool washer. Everything else went to plan and all the staff had been given copies of our history and birth plan so they knew we were very nervous about Reuben's arrival. We really could not have asked for more from all of those involved in Reuben's delivery!

When the anesthatist said it was time for Tim to have the camera ready, the screen was lowered and I could see my baby boy being lifted from my body! He looked huge, chubby and just gorgeous! And he had hair!!! None of my kids were born with hair, well very little of it and what they had was blonde. But this little guy was born with lots of it and it was dark too. A total shock! I think he was determined to be born a real individual. Then he opened his mouth and started screaming. A wave of emotion just flew over my body and I cried and cried. "He's crying, he has lungs". He had to be healthy and strong with lungs like that! Then the paed did his check on him and when he was done he came to tell me with a big smile "congratulations, you have a beautiful healthy, strong boy there." Wow was the only feeling I could use to describe! Then he was wrapped up and placed in my arms. He was beautiful and with his mouth open and screaming he looked just like my 2nd child, Isla. The Obstetrician leaned over and said to me "he looks just like Isla", so he must have seen it too. Reuben Isaac arrived at 10:23am, weighing a healthy 3.28kg and 50cm long.

I was allowed to hold him until it was time to be taken into recovery and they said that they would take him behind me in the crib just incase I dropped him. Okay, no problems with that. Once in recovery the nurses did their checks on me and our midwife stayed with us then passed Reuben over for what was the most wonderful experience I have had in my life. Even during my natural births with my first two I didnt get that skin to skin contact which I think is crucial for bonding and establishing feeding. I was just amazed at this little person laying on my chest. I felt completely blissed out and totally loved up. There is truly no greater feeling in the world. Time stands still. Even to the point I didnt care how I felt recovering. They kept checking to see where I had feeling back in my legs, and I just wasnt interested.

Eventually I was ready to be moved back to the maternity ward and Reuben had to be taken from me for safety, and we couldnt both fit in the lift so Tim stayed with him and we met him back in the room a few minutes later. The rest of the afternoon was spent with me cuddling Reuben and dozing in and out with the help of the painkillers they had dosed me with. I also watched Tim give Reuben his first bath and the midwife do her checks on him.

Later in the afternoon, Tim rang home to speak to the kids and tell them they had a little brother and that he was going home to get them very soon and bring them in. The look on their faces when they came in the room was amazing. I couldnt reach for the camera quick enough. Its safe to say they really love their new little brother and can not get enough of him. Then it was time to let the rest of the world know that Reuben had arrived.

Another thing we did to help us settle down and deal with Reuben's arrival after Connor's death was to limit all visitors to just our little family and at that, it wasnt until 2 days later that we asked our parents to come in for a visit. And that was all we had. It was so peaceful and I was able to concentrate on bonding with Reuben, and concentrate on feeding him.

My time with Reuben in hospital for the 7 days I was there was filled with lots of emotions. I was terrified I wouldnt bond with Reuben, but I can safely say it was not an issue. What was an issue was the fact I could not sleep because I was terrified if I went to sleep something might happen to him. So I didnt get much sleep for the first week, which unfortunately left me feeling pretty exhausted by time I got home. I cant complain yet because Reuben has been quite settled so far and eats and sleeps like a dream, unfortunately its just me that is the problematic one so far. However I think I shall save all the emotional aftermath for another post.

I think Reuben's arrival and our time in hospital went so well because I firmly believe having a carefully laid out birth plan with our history detailed, really helped us to get the desired outcome we wanted. With all staff involved in our care having recieved a copy, we were treated with utmost respect and the nurses, Dr's and all staff were absolutely fantastic.

I just wanted to end this post by saying that this is my 100th post. I never expected when I first started this blog that my life would be at this point. When I started this blog, I was pregnant with Connor and had recently had the diagnosis of Ebstein's Anomaly. I was frightened and afraid for the future. Nobody ever wants to imagine life without their baby. Now here I am and in a few short months this blog will be 2 years old. I never would have thought that this is how my life would be. Even the most carefully laid plans can take detours on the bumpiest of roads.